Updates!

I know, I know, I've been MIA-- sorry. Of course, I haven't been doing a whole, whole lot with planning, but I do have some updates.

First, the venue. As you can see in the previous post, I found a venue that I absolutely loved. However, since the galleys can only hold 150 people in each, we would've either had to invited only 150 people to the wedding and everyone to the reception or cut the entire list to 150, which is what we probably would've done. Chris wasn't very fond of the idea of cutting the list that much (and mommma didn't like the price all that much either), so I decided to compromise and use the church we attend for our ceremony, and hopefully the local National Guard for the reception. I know it's going to take a lot when it comes to decorating our reception, but I figured if I compromised on this, I can get some of the other things I really want like a really fabulous photographer and a photo booth (even if I have to DIY it)!

Also, I finally went gown browsing for the first time last Thursday! I didn't think I would have fun initially because I don't care for shopping and trying on clothes. But I actually had fun (shout out to one of the besties/bridesmaids for pushing me to go)! And I found three dresses I really like; I think I may have found the "one," but I'm planning to go back to try on a few more with my momma, sister and a few other people. That's when I'll make the final decision and buy it {how exciting!}.

I think trying on dresses really made me realize that I'm about to get married. Initially, it was a very surreal feeling. When I put the first dress on it was like, Wow...what the heck is going on? I'm really standing here in a wedding gown, and I'm about to get married soon! So, now, I officially feel like a bride lol.

Anyhoo, since the time is getting closer {263 days--eek!}, I should have updates more often, so stay tuned!

We have a venue...

...but we have to put down the deposit first lol!

So, I wrote about the venue we went to look at, the Anderson Arts Center, a couple of months ago. We went to look at it again last week, and the event planner gave us a nice, detailed tour. I really love the place because it's different, there's art everywhere (so we won't have to do a whole lot of decorating), it holds up to 300 people, and we can have the rehearsal dinner there the night before!

A couple of pics (from Renee Burroughs Design):

Now I'm getting excited about planning the wedding! I made another inspiration board on The Knot, I'm planning to start looking for dresses next month, and I'm starting to do research on the decor. We still have to figure out the whole guest list, but that's another post for another day.

Since I'm really getting my butt in gear, I should be posting more often.

Until next time...

It's been a long time!

Hey ya'll! I know, it's been a while since I've written in here, and I apologize. I'ma do better, ya'll; I promise lol!

So, I haven't been doing much on the planning front lately, and that's why I haven't been blogging. But today, I logged on to The Knot to do some research for a client, and it said there's 298 days until the big day!! I started freaking out and panicking a little because I. Have. Done. Nothing. Well, I've chosen the colors, have a semi-finished guest list and a venue that I want to book (but I haven't), but that's it. I do have someone who's helping me out (thank God), I just need to sit down and figure out exactly what needs to be done-- and do it! I really don't want a disastrous wedding, and I don't want to be super-stressed when it's June, July, August 2011. It's just difficult to be in the planning mood because planning is so not me....oh, well, guess I'll just have to suck it up, and plan this Fabulous wedding (with help, of course)!

And if you have any tips to help me getting into a planning mood, pleeeaaase leave them below...thanks! : - )

A few photos..

Last month, I got some headshots made for my biz and blog (by NakeeshaRenee Photography), and she took some photos of Chris and me:

I want to like cooking...

This is so not me


I was procrastinating taking a break so I decided to head over to ChocolateBrides.com. On it, I read a post, "The Power of Food." In it, The Happy Nappy Bride talks about how she actually wants to cook for her hubby and family. Not that he can't do it, but she enjoys it and is good at it. The post made me think about my hate/hate relationship with cooking.

I want to like cooking. Really, I do. Not because I feel that I'm "supposed" to cook {Chris can cook; he's literally been doing so since, like, age 10}. I want to because 1) I like to eat; 2) Although I won't cook every night, I'm sure I'll have to some times, and I wouldn't mind actually enjoying it-- at least a little; and 3) When we have kids, they have to eat something besides frozen pizza and Wendy's right? {I guess...}

I just don't like to cook though...it takes too much time, in my opinion, and it's just not...fun. Maybe {hopefully} I'll learn to kinda like it within the next 345 days. Or at least learn to tolerate the act.

If you have any tips, advice, anything, leave me a comment...help a sista out! LOL!


Photo from mymajicdc.com

How much "riding" and dying" is necessary?

I'm sure ya'll all know by now about the situation with T.I. and Tiny. Yeah, we know they're dumb, but that's not what this post is about lol. When I was doing some reading on blogs and forums, I came across posts/discussions about what we {as women} would have done in this type of situation. In one blog post I read, the author said she is a ride or die chick so she would take the charges like Tiny probably will since T.I. will may serve time.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for being there for your man in hard times {as long as he's a great man- but that's a whole other post}. When Chris was out of work, I supported him; not so much financially, but I was there for him emotionally, I encouraged him, and I helped him look for a job, but I think there's a line, at least for me. And that line is pretty much anything illegal; I just can't get with that. I seriously, seriously doubt that Chris would do anything illegal, but if he did, I can't see myself being his 'ride or die' in that type of situation. I love him to pieces, but I love myself more than that.

I thought I was a ride or die chick because I don't run at the first sign of trouble, I don't insult or degrade him {even if he does something crazy}, and I stick by him in the rough times. But I guess people have different definitions of what that means. So I want to know:

What is your definition of 'ride or die'? Are you a ride or die chick? How far is too far, or is there no limit?

Photo Credit: herdailyfix.com

Take it from them...

...because black women {and men} find love, too!

This post is all about a happily married black man who's married to a black woman {yes, they do exist!}. Check out what Emmanuel has to say:

Wedding Anniversary Date: June 28, 2008

How did you know Crystal was the one?
That's a great question...honestly, I had commitment issues before Crystal- as in, I ran from the word "relationship." However, I always figured that whenever I actually "take the plunge" and get into a committed relationship, that woman would most likely be the one I marry. I guess I started to realize it when I thought about how she was the first person I felt like I could be myself 100% around, without holding back anything. I'm a very reserved, guarded person, and I knew she had to be special to be able to break down those barries so easily.

What is one thing marriage has taught you?
No matter what, if your foundation is built on love, you can weather any storm. No matter how wonderful the connection is between two people, you're not going to see eye-to-eye on everything; some issues may come up from time to time, but love will conquer all. It seems that, especially nowadays, people run at the first sign of trouble, but I think that's because they haven't built a foundation on love. I've heard couples refer to their marriages as business arrangements or partnerships- and that's unfortunate because the bond I have with my wife is so much more than that!

Any advice or tips for newlyweds?
Communicate! Learn how to disagree, discuss and dissolve an issue without fighting. Lastly, remember to do the nice little things you did for each other earlier in the relationship- continuous courtship keeps the fire buring for a lifetime.

Check out Emmanuel aka Eazy's music--> eazy.bandcamp.com

If you're a happily married black woman {or man}, and you want to be featured, send me an email for consideration: jamienfleming (at) gmail (dot) com.

The Venue

So I'm excited because we may have found the perfect venue! First, let me give you a little background about the search.

Okay, I live in Hartwell, a small town that doesn't have many options when it comes to wedding/reception venues. Initially, we thought we'd have the wedding at the church we attend and have the reception at the local golf course. I got information about having it there, and there are two prices: For 125 guests, the food, half the ballroom, etc, it was around $2500 {according to my calculations}. But as you know, the guest list is now way more than 125, and it costs $800 just to get the entire room. So...yeah, I don't think that's going to work.

Option two was to have the wedding in Hartwell and the reception in Anderson (where Chris is from). But it's a 30 minute drive, and I don't really feel comfortable asking people to drive to Hartwell for the wedding and then drive 30 more minutes to the reception. And besides, I don't want to ride 30 minutes to the reception either.

Now, I'm hoping {fingers crossed} that we can have the wedding in Anderson at the Anderson Arts Center. I love it because 1) Well, it's in Anderson; 2) It can hold up to 300 guests; 3) It's unique; and 4) It's affordable! I want to have both the wedding and reception there; the events coordinator said it was probably possible, but no one's ever had a wedding there...Anyhoo, I think we're going to have a look at it next week, and hopefully everything will work out...Wish me luck!

I don't care what you think!

First of all, hey ya'll! Sorry I haven't posted lately; I really don't have a good excuse reason so I won't try to come up with one Lol.

Anyhoo, so if you're planning your wedding now or you're already married, I'm sure you've had to deal with everybody and their grandma's {and grandpa's} opinion about what you should do at your wedding. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mind the opinions and thoughts of some people like my besties, sister, mom, his mom and people I might ask {like ya'll}, but really, if I don't ask you, I really don't care what you think! That's another reason I don't like talking about my wedding-- unsolicited advice. But I just listen to it, and go on...still, it's really annoying.

So, to all the ladies who are dealing with and have dealt with this, how did/do you handle it? I'd love to hear your advice!

Before you do...

This post was written by Tangie Henry aka Inspired Sistah, a Certified Life Coach, Marriage Mentor & Coach. I first encountered Tangie on The BOSS Network, and I met her in real life at BlogLive Atlanta where she was a panelist. I knew she had a series online called Marriage Ain't for Wimps so I thought she'd be a perfect person to contribute to this blog. Enjoy!

This year, my husband and I celebrated fifteen years of marriage. One thing that we emphatically agree on is that proper preparation prior to getting married would have saved us many years of hurt, anger, frustration and disappointment.

In a time when the divorce rate is through the roof, it would behoove couples preparing to take the wonderful leap into marriage to try to prepare themselves as much as possible. Although that fact has been stated ad nauseam, for some reason, couples still frolic into their marriage convenant with little or no preparation and then wonder why they're having so many challenges. I've also run into the mindset of engaged couples who hear about the challenges of marriage but assume that they will be exempt. They reject sound guidance as if someone is trying to rain on their parade. Granted, there are some disgruntled married persons that you want to steer clear of, but I hope to provide a balance between fantasy and reality as well as offer some suggestions to help prepare you before you do.

Pay Attention: I'm a firm believer that your "Intended" will show you everything about himself/herself prior to The Big Day. Whether you choose to pay attention or not is totally up to you. Does she have a nasty, little habit of overspending? Or does he seem to shut down when you prefer that he open up? Those are things that need to be addressed. If they are bothering you now, they will really rub you afterwards.

Deal with the Real: Fantasy is only suitable for the arts. It's important that you accept your Honey for who he is and not who you want him to be. Don't go into the union assuming that things will change afterwards. Does he seem to be having trouble holding a job? Ummm...getting hitched will not suddenly cure him.

Ask the Hard Questions: Do you want to have children? What religious belief will you raise your children under? Who will handle the money? Will you have a joint account? These are all questions that too many couples make assumptions about and then find themselves in a state of frustration when their assumptions clash with the reality.

Get Sound Counsel: I am a huge advocate of structured, intensive pre-marital counseling. I'm not talking about the quick, one hour session where you sit down with a minister and tell him or her about your wedding plans. I'm talking about an intensive preparation course where it spurs deep thought and intense conversations.

Take Your Time: In the dating phase of a relationship, it seems that the natural progression would be engagement and, ultimately, marriage. However, there is a huge emphasis on getting from, "Hi, my name is Kendra," to "I now pronounce you man and wife." The more time you spend exploring your relationship prior to getting hitched, the more fulfilling your union will be.

In summary, having a partner that you've committed to before God and man is a wonderful opportunity. So don't shortchange yourself by not being properly prepared. Let's be real, there are some things that you are just not going to know until you take the plunge, but completing some prerequisites will make the transition a whole lot smoother. So take a break from the phone calls to caterers and florists, and get in your Honey's face for some real dialouge. You'll be glad you did!

Check Tangie's blog Marriage Ain't for Wimps which promotes and advocates for love and marriage, and check her site, Inspired Sistah which inspires women to live on top of the world.

God's sense of humor

So I was procrastinating reading some of the Facebook statuses on BaisdenLive from The Michael Baisden Show. He asked Christian women if they prayed to God for husband, do they believe He would send him? I read some responses, and one woman said to be careful what you pray for because God does have a sense of humor. Basically, you need to be specific about the kind of man you want.

That made me think about my previous relationship. I don't know if I told ya'll, but this was a time when I thought there would be no other "good" men left after I left the college atmosphere. I figured this is as good as it gets, so I better hold on to him! {Lol, don't judge me}. Anyway, sometimes, I used to pray that I would marry him {so sad, I know, Lol}. It wasn't an everyday thing, just when I thought about it, I'd be like, "God, let me marry Paul."

Well, obviously, he and I broke up. But coincidentally (or not), I am marrying Paul:

Christopher Paul Dixon!

Isn't God funny?! I just thought I'd share that because I think it's kind of cool and ironic that I got what I asked for. But for real though, whatever you want in life, make sure you are very specific about it! : )

The Guest List

Last week, Chris and I started making our first guest list...and all I can say right now is oh boy.

Together, we wrote down the names of about 250 people. And the thing about it is most of the people on our list are family members! I also totally forgot a lot some people so now, of course, I'm feeling a little stressed about who to invite. I mean, we only have a few friends on the list, and we'd like to at least have some there. Everyone else is family...I never realized how huge our families are until this stupid list. So now I have a dilemma-- who to cut from the list. I know that everyone invited won't attend, but still, I really don't want to send out 250+ invitations...Ugh, what to do??? Help me!! Lol {No really...}

L-O-V-E

I'm reading this thread on Nappturality.com, and a member asked how long did it take for others to fall in love. Of course, I started reminiscing...

Chris and I were friends for about a year before we came official. Our best friends dated each other so we started hanging out more and more during the summer and on breaks because we were in college. I was in a rocky relationship, so I really didn't think of Chris like that-- and he never tried to get me to break up with my then-boyfriend; in fact, he encouraged me to try to make things work. Anyhoo, I was really starting to fall for Chris, and I told my bff this on New Year's Day after we were done hanging out with them, and she was like, "Duh." Lol

Starting on January 1, 2008, Chris and I texted everyday (oh yeah, I didn't have a bf then); we texted because neither of us really liked talking on the phone...We became official on January 18, 2008, and I really felt like I loved him, and he used to say it, but I would always be like it's too early for me to say it. So I guess I knew I loved him even before we really started dating, but I really didn't want to admit it {and still don't} Lol. I just think it's weird that I could love someone so soon, but hey, guess you can't fight the feeling...Anyway, just wanted to share that ♥ ♥

In the mood...for planning!

So, I'm pleased to report that I'm now officially {I hope} in the wedding planning mood! Woo hoo!


The reason I wasn't in the mood initially was because to me, a wedding was just an event you spent a whole lot of money on that lasted just a few hours. I really didn't see what the big deal was. I mean, yeah, it's an important day, I suppose, but the way some people make it...it's just not that serious. And I still don't really see the point of spending a ton of money on one day, but I do think I see the bigger purpose of a wedding.

I guess I had this epiphany the other day when I was looking at the wedding mags I received from the bridal show. Let me rewind a little: Brittany and I were trying to think of a wedding theme for me, and I came across one called 'Bright Beginnings.' We both thought this would be a perfect theme for my wedding because yellow is the main color, and, well, it's a beginning. And that got me thinking...a wedding symbolizes the beginning of Mr. & Mrs., the start of our new lives together.

Throughout our marriage, we'll have the support of our true friends and family, so it's important to share this significant moment with them as well. See, I'd been more excited about actually being married to Chris than the actual wedding, but now I'm getting excited about the wedding, too. I don't think I'm going to be all-gung-ho Super-excited-wedding-planner-guru, but I will be more into the process now...




Anyhoo, please feel free to share your thoughts on the subject! ^_^

My first bridal show

Yesterday I attended my first bridal show {hence the title}. One of my besties, Brittany, invited me. It was...interesting to say the least. I did get a few free magazines and other stuff, and I actually got some really great ideas.

But the most memorable moment had to be with the Ardyss "Body Magic" people. So, they have a booth, and one of the ladies asked me if I wanted to try one on; I was thinking, What the heck? It can't hurt anything.' {Let me first stop and say I really don't need one, and if you know me, you know this is true}...Anyhoo, so I go behind their curtain, and she takes my measurements. Then she finds the size...and tells me to lay down...on one of those tables you might see at a Dr.'s office. She couldn't really get it clasped, so she asked for assistance. So here I am, laying on the table thinking, Why the eff did I decide to do this? It's very awkward-- two women standing over me, my pants unbuttoned, it was really uncomfortable Lol. Then I go out and show Brittany, and she couldn't tell the difference either way Lol. And the one guy they had working there couldn't tell, either....*sigh* fun times...

On a brighter note, Brittany and I did go to David's Bridal, and it was kind of fun. I didn't try on any dresses, but Brit did try on a couple of bridesmaid's dresses, and I think I found them. Woo-hoo! Progress!

One thing I still haven't been able to decide on is the freaking bridal party...ugh! I really want to decide soon so I can just let everyone know or ask everyone, and I keep seeing all these articles that say choose wisely...

Anyway, I'm now feeling inspired to start planning for real-for real. I contacted a venue today, and we're {hopefully} going to get this first guest list squared away...Well, that's all I have for now...

Take it from them...

...because black women find love, too!

Today, it's about Tiffany M.


Wedding anniversary date: June 27, 2009

How did you know Marty was the One?
For about the first year or two that Marty and I dated, everything was nearly perfect. That whole "can't eat/can't sleep" cliche is oh-so-true when you're in love. I wanted to spend every single second of my free time with him and vice versa. I just hated when I wasn't with him. And when we were together, it was pure magic. I just knew that no one had ever made my heart flutter the way he did. There was no doubt in my mind that he was the right one for me.

What's one thing marriage has taught you?
Wow, just one? Communication is the first thing that comes to mind because it's such an important factor in a happy and successful marriage. Marty and I are both quiet-natured people. This makes it difficult in times of disagreement because both of us tend to close ourselves off from one another. I think too many people don't realize that marriage takes WORK from BOTH partners. Next to motherhood (I'm not a mother yet; this is just my opinion), marriage is probably the hardest job a person can have. Both parties must put in the effort to make it work. And one of those efforts you have to constantly perfect is communication.

Any advice for the engaged or newlyweds?
Have a marriage plan in place either before getting married or shortly thereafter. Sort out finances, the housework, all the responsibilities of each party. I think this makes it so much easier to know which spouse will be accountable for what early on in the marriage. Will the plan change? Sure it will. But coming to an agreement and setting your expectations now rather than later can save a lot of headaches in the long run.
Another tip I've found helpful is to read marriage advice (self-help) books. I tend to trust some of these more so than information I find on random websites. I read the books, highlight the parts I find most helpful or interesting, and I revisit them when I need a helping hand in my relationship. And if I find something really good, I'll even share it with my husband : o )

Read more about Tiffany & Marty's married life on Tiffany's blog, The Chocolate Knot.

Are you a happily married black woman and want to be featured? Contact me: jamienfleming [at] gmail [dot] com.

Really great blog post...and other thoughts...

So last night, I was reading blogs for wedding inspiration and I started reading Chocolate Brides. I came across this fabulous post, Chronicles of a Borderline Bridezilla Part 1 1/2. In a nutshell, the writer was saying that your wedding is your wedding so you should do what you want. {Which I totally agree with}.

If you've read some of my posts, you probably came across the one about choosing the bridal party. When I read this post, it really made me think about it again. She was saying that the only people standing next to you on your wedding day should be those who are there to truly support you.
Of course, that got me thinking: Who are really my ace-boon-coons? My ride-or-dies? Who should really be standing next to me? Of course, my sister and bestest friends, but I really don't know who else {aside from one of my cousins and one of his}. I mean, I feel like I should include his sisters as well. Now, don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against either of them, but we're not bffs either. And then Chris has his guys he wants in the wedding, so...once again, I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess we'll have to talk about it and go from there....

Who was in your wedding party? How did you go about choosing who'd stand beside you? Do you regret who you had standing up there with you?

We're featured on a blog!

Chris and I are on Black Love Poster! Check us {and the other fab couples} out!

Jamie & Chris on Black Love Poster


: - )

Take it from them...

Happy Saturday!

I recently decided to begin featuring some happily married black women on this blog. I have two reasons: 1) To show that yes, black women do find love and get married {surprise, surprise}; and 2) To have these women share a little of their experiences and advice.

First up is JeLisa S.:

Wedding anniversary date: September 14, 2008

How did you know Galen [the hubby] was the One?
The realization that Galen was the one hit me harder than anything in my entire life. Not in a bad way...just in a big one. Everything I thought I knew-- about myself, my plans, even love-- was forever changed in an instant. I sat in my dorm room talking to my friend, Galen, about our friendship and realized I was talking to my husband.

I don't know how I knew. Call it divine intervention, my heart being smarter than me. Maybe I'm psychic. Well, I can't be psychic since I thought from childhood I'd never, ever, ever get married or have kids. {I thought I didn't even like them}.

And now, I'm a very happily married preschool teacher who's planning her nursery. Turns out, the only thing I'd been right about was that Galen was "the marrying type"--I'd always told him that and that he'd one day make a really sweet husband to some lucky girl. How crazy it was when I realized that girl was me.

What's one thing marriage has taught you?
It has been the deepest, most revealing mirror ever held to my face. It has shown me who I truly am {the good and bad, the ugliness and the beauty}, what my habits are, what my needs are, what my strengths are, how I need to grow, what I need to change, what I need to cultivate.

Any advice for the engaged and newlyweds?
If you're engaged, I'd advise you not to get so caught up in planning your wedding that you forget to plan and prepare for your marriage.

If you're a newlywed and have just gotten married, I'd advise you to enjoy it! And you can't enjoy it by sweating the small stuff. Yes, he leaves his shoes by the doorway when he gets home-- but you can focus on how annoying that is or how awesome it is that he's home. The first year passes you by before you know it, and you two are only newlyweds once!

Get more of JeLisa and her marriage on her blog, ...And They Lived Blogging Ever After.

Are you a happily married black woman and want to be featured? Contact me: jamienfleming@gmail.com.

Just another outing...

Chris was off on Sunday {ya'll don't understand, he's been working 7 days a week for the past month}. So after spending some time with his familia, we headed to Greenville {SC for those of ya'll who don't know}. Here are some pics:


{Downtown Greenville}

{Sad about the rain}

{Falls Park}

Really cool blog I found

I was looking at African-American Brides blog and came across another really cool blog, Black Love Poster.

The founder, Leila, founded the blog because she was frustrated/weary/bored with the media's portrayal of black women as unloveable. It's absolutely beautiful, ya'll, and I love it!

Check it out: Black Love Poster

Bridal Party: Revisited

As usual, I haven't been doing much in the wedding planning department. {Shout out to one of my BFFs, Brittany, for getting me a bridal mag for my birthday. It's helping...a little lol}.

Anyhoo, even though I haven't really been planning, I have been thinking a lot about who I actually want to be in this thing. Long story short, someone wasn't happy with me because I asked another individual to be in my wedding and not her. I have nothing against the person I didn't ask, it's just that I don't really interact with her all that much. I don't want anyone up there just because they asked, and I said, "Okay." I want women that I actually interact with regularly {whether they're my friends, my family or Chris's family}, women that I'm close to, and women who are supportive and have my back.

So I kind of felt bad about not asking her, but now I'm kind of thinking it's my wedding. {Well, it is.} I just feel like if I don't talk to you often, why do you feel slighted if I asked someone else? If the tables were turned, I wouldn't feel that way...

Just my thoughts...what do ya'll think?

Photo from: jupiterimages.com

Cohabitating: Yay or nay

Last night, I was watching "True Life: I'm a Newlywed." One couple hadn't done anything-- they hadn't even kissed on the lips, and they wouldn't lie on the couch together at the same time {I thought it was...kind of cute, a little strange, but cute}; and they knew nothing about sex. I mean, not even the basic stuff you get in eighth grade P.E. The other couple has been in a long distance relationship for four years and only saw each other every couple of months.

So anyway, throughout the show, we see their lives, of course. We see how awkward the first couple's kiss was and how they had pretty good sex the first night...it was interesting how they reacted about the whole situation {but that's a post for another day}. In the long distance relationship, the female moved 600 miles to live with her new hubby, and she suddenly realized she didn't know anything about how he lived or his finances {which I didn't understand; they didn't discuss this at all before the marriage? But I digress...}.

This last couple really made me think about the whole issue of cohabitating or even just spending the night with your SO before marrying him/her. I know many are against it for religious/moral reasons, or they don't want to give their milk away {you know the saying}, and I know people who think it's a good idea to do so.

I don't really believe that whole "why buy the cow" thing is true in every situation. I mean, sure, you have some people who want to live with you without the commitment, but a lot of people just want to see how the other person really is and how he/she lives. You never really know someone 'til you live with them. On the other hand, I can understand if you don't want to give your partner "too much..." But if your partner was super messy or a border line hoarder, wouldn't you want to know?

Anyway, what do ya'll think? Do you think it's a good idea to cohabitate before marriage?

Support

As many of you know, I'm a freelance copywriter & blogger. I've been doing this pretty much since I graduated from college, and Chris has been with me every step of the way.

I'm not exactly where I want to be financially in my career, but I am very lucky to have someone who supports me- financially and otherwise- when I need it. He even proofreads my work, and I know he hates doing it! Lol I know many people have significant others who don't encourage their dreams and minimize their goals. I'm very happy and appreciative that Chris believes in my goals, dreams & me.

Yay for support! Lol

Photo from: gettyimages.com

Titles: Boyfriend vs. Fiancé

Boyfriend or Fiancé?

Last Monday, I went to my alma mater, GCSU, and I hung out with some friends, of course. And a lot of times when I talk about Chris, I call him my boyfriend and not fiancé. My friend, Michael was like, 'Why do you call him your boyfriend?! He's your fiancé now!'

I mean, I know, he's my fiancé, and I'm proud of that and all that mushy stuff {lol}, but sometimes, it feels like fiancé is just so much to say {weird, I know}, and I don't want to be like, "My fiancé this," and "my fiancé that." And I really don't see it as that big of a deal, I guess. Now, when we get married, I'll definitely be referring to him as hubby/husband/etc.

What do ya'll think? Should I be calling Chris my fiancé or does it matter?

P.S.- I love u, Chris : )

Is there a right time for marriage?

I was on one of my favorite websites, Nappturality, and I came across a thread in the forums. In it, they are discussing what it means to be "ready" for marriage.

I think it's a really great question. I hear so many people give their opinions of when other people will be ready for marriage, but I think the only people that can determine that are the ones in the relationship. In some relationships, I suppose you can kind of tell if the couple isn't ready {like if one of them is cheating or they fight/argue all the time, or if they're under 18}.

But I think that if both parties are mature, realize what they are getting into, do the things they need for a successful relationship {effective communication, trust, respect, etc.} and know that the other person is the person he/she wants to be with, then I say they're "ready."

What say you? What does it mean to be "ready" for marriage in your opinion? Do you think someone else can tell you you are/aren't "ready?"

Getting back into planning-- sorta

So, last night I was watching TLC's Thank God It's Bride-day, and it kind of inspired me to start looking at wedding stuff again and get excited about the whole thing. {Yay!}

I've also discover something: I'm gonna need to at least hire a day-of coordinator because I need everything to be structured and to go as planned, and I really want family and friends to be able to enjoy the wedding, so I need somebody to take care of the details. And since Chris has a new job {woo hoo!}, business is looking up, and he's supposed to go to the National Guard soon : / maybe we can get at least a wedding coordinator for the big day...we shall see.

But I'm glad the planning mood is back because I really want a fabulous and organized day and not a mess...we'll see how long this mood lasts though Lol

Sorry for the inactivity!

Hey people!

As you have probably noticed, I haven't been doing much in the wedding planning department. Work has completely consumed me for a while as you can tell. Don't get me wrong, I'm still excited about the wedding and getting married and my relationship, but this whole planning thing...yeah...

I keep telling myself I have plenty of time [well, I do have a year and four months], but I definitely don't want to wait 'til the last minute, be scrambling around, have a mess and turn into Bridezilla lol. I'm sure I will find a balance to all this soon though.

Anyhoo, I really don't want to neglect you or this blog, so I'm going to my darndest to post in here at least once a week. Promise! : )

Nothing much going on...

So, I haven't been looking at wedding stuff or doing much planning lately. My life has pretty much been consumed with work right now. But I promise I will write in here at least once a week. I might post something interesting I find, something about relationships/marriage in general or about my own wedding plans.

Anyhoo, as I said, I'll be posting once a week, so stay tuned! : )

Black couple have record for world's longest marriage

[caption id="attachment_75" align="aligncenter" width="456" caption="Photo credit: DL Anderson"][/caption]

I know this is probably old news to a lot of you, but I just wanted to share.

Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher have been married for a whopping 85 years!! And on their wedding anniversary, May 13, they will have one of the longest marriages on record.

On Valentine's Day of this year, they tweeted some of their secrets to a long, happy marriage. A couple of secrets?

• Remember marriage is not a contest- never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win.


• Respect, support and communicate with each other. Be faithful, honest and true. Love each other with ALL of your heart.

You can see the rest of their tweets here.

Yay for [long-lasting] black love!! ♥ ♥

How long is too long...

...to be engaged? I'm sure you've heard of people who've been engaged several years- 4, 5, 6 years or as little as six months.

 I think that 1-2 years is enough time to stay engaged, but there are some situations that might require you to wait longer- waiting to graduate, someone in the military or if you want an extravagant wedding and have to save for it.

Personally, I don't think I would wait more than two years from engagement to get married...what about you?

How long is too long to be engaged?

I can't believe it...

Saturday, Chris and I went on a little outing. We went to the dam in Hartwell [my hometown] and to a place overlooking the lake. We did the usual: laughed, joked, took crazy photos.  Throughout the day, I was thinking about how 'friendly' and how comfortable this feels. Don't get me wrong, we are very much in love, but it sometimes surprises me how much like friends we are. I guess that's a good thing though- they say you're supposed to marry your best friend, so...

I was also thinking about how surreal this whole engagement thing feels. I mean, when I really think about being engaged and the fact that I'm getting married next year, it's just like, 'Wow...I'm really engaged to my best friend...I'm about to get freakin' married next year...That just seems so crazy to me! Lol But really, I am very excited about everything to come...woo hoo!

[caption id="attachment_68" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Us at the dam : )"][/caption]

Presenting...

The wedding colors!

Black is one of my favorite colors, and Chris and I both like yellow- it's a happy color, and it's bright. So, the colors are....

[Yellow, Black and White]

I made this little inspiration board today, but knowing me, it's the first of many. Anyway, here it is:

What do you think?

Photos from: theknot.com, mypersonalartist.blogspot.com, stoverscustomcakes.com, wedding-dress.ec51.com, sugarpluminvitations.blogspot.com, blissevent.com, zazzle.com

Wedding vs. Marriage

As you probably know, I spend a lot of some time looking at wedding websites & blogs. I recently came across a post (or article) discussing how some peoplefocus too much on the wedding part as opposed to the actual marriage. And as you can probably guess, a lot of those marriages end in divorce.

It made me think. Yes, I want a fabulous, darn-near-perfect wedding (it can't be absolutely perfect, I hear), and I want the wedding day to be a reflection of us and our love, but the marriage is what it's really about. I don't want to get so caught up in having the "right" colors, the "right" flowers, the "perfect" dress and shoes and hair and forget about what the wedding truly symbolizes, and why everyone is really there.

[The wedding is just a day...the marriage is a lifetime.]

[caption id="attachment_59" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Christmas '09"][/caption]

Wedding planning-ugh!

I'd always said when I got engaged, I did not want to plan the wedding. Even though I'm somewhat of a control freak a hands-on kind of person, I. Don't. Like. Planning. Events. I learned this while in college.

As a mass communication major, I had to take two electives unrelated to my field, which was print. I chose public relations (PR) because I wasn't interested in anything having to do with broadcast journalism or advertising- but I digress. In the introductory class, we had to plan an event called the mass comm mixer for freshmen and sophomores who were interested in mass comm (or just wanted some free food). I pretty much hated all of the planning aspect of it.

Back to the matter at hand. Since I'm getting married sooner than I thought I would (even though I didn't have an actual time in mind, I didn't think it would be this soon), and I don't really have the funds to hire a planner (at least not at this moment), I have to plan it myself (yay!!)  Well, my cousin did say she'd love to help because wedding planning is something she'd been interested in as a career.

But my point is that the wedding planning process seems like sooo much! You have to choose colors, a venue for the ceremony and reception, flowers, dresses, food, the people you want to invite, and the list goes on and on. I know, I know, I have a really long time (at least that's what Chris keeps telling me), but I want things to go as smoothly as possible, and I don't want to spend the three months prior to the date in a frenzy because I waited until the last minute to decide anything.

So...please feel free to share your words of wisdom, tips, anything! Thanks in advance! : )

Why do I feel like I'm bragging?

A lot of times, I don't like talking about my wedding plans or the fact that I'm engaged. Why? Because I feel like people will feel that I'm bragging. I don't know why I feel this way. I just don't want people to feel like I'm bragging because I'm engaged or that I think I'm better than everyone else because I'm getting married. Does that make sense? Or am I just crazy? Lol Has anyone else experienced this?

Bridal Party

So, even though my wedding is not until next year, I've been thinking about who's going to be in it. Actually, I was thinking about it before I was engaged, but only because I was sure Chris and I were getting married. Anyway, there are not a lot of family members on the list right now. I honestly don't think most of them care because we don't really talk like that, but then again, you never know. But knowing me, I'll keep the bridal party as is- a couple of relatives, my two bffs and some of Chris's family. However, I'm known for being indecisive, so we'll see... ; )

Colors I lurve

I originally had this in my Mocha Locs blog, but since this is the wedding blog, I decided to put it here.

I'm trying to figure out a color combo that we both like. Needless to say, it's not easy. But we have pleeenty of time, so I'm not worried. Here are some of my faves (but the black and pink is my fave):

 

 

 

 

Photos from: itsajaimething.com, inthedetailsblog.com, thewishlist.com

How did you choose your wedding colors?

Mocha's new blog!

Most of you know me as Jamie Fleming or Mocha Writer, and you might also know that I'm engaged!

Since I'm a writer and blogger and love sharing things (and since this will be a looong planning process), I decided to create an entirely new blog dedicated to my wedding & marriage planning process. So basically I'll be talking about our plans. Check out the about page for more info on us : )

Enjoy!