Take it from them...

...because black women {and men} find love, too!

This post is all about a happily married black man who's married to a black woman {yes, they do exist!}. Check out what Emmanuel has to say:

Wedding Anniversary Date: June 28, 2008

How did you know Crystal was the one?
That's a great question...honestly, I had commitment issues before Crystal- as in, I ran from the word "relationship." However, I always figured that whenever I actually "take the plunge" and get into a committed relationship, that woman would most likely be the one I marry. I guess I started to realize it when I thought about how she was the first person I felt like I could be myself 100% around, without holding back anything. I'm a very reserved, guarded person, and I knew she had to be special to be able to break down those barries so easily.

What is one thing marriage has taught you?
No matter what, if your foundation is built on love, you can weather any storm. No matter how wonderful the connection is between two people, you're not going to see eye-to-eye on everything; some issues may come up from time to time, but love will conquer all. It seems that, especially nowadays, people run at the first sign of trouble, but I think that's because they haven't built a foundation on love. I've heard couples refer to their marriages as business arrangements or partnerships- and that's unfortunate because the bond I have with my wife is so much more than that!

Any advice or tips for newlyweds?
Communicate! Learn how to disagree, discuss and dissolve an issue without fighting. Lastly, remember to do the nice little things you did for each other earlier in the relationship- continuous courtship keeps the fire buring for a lifetime.

Check out Emmanuel aka Eazy's music--> eazy.bandcamp.com

If you're a happily married black woman {or man}, and you want to be featured, send me an email for consideration: jamienfleming (at) gmail (dot) com.

Take it from them...

...because black women find love, too!

Today, it's about Tiffany M.


Wedding anniversary date: June 27, 2009

How did you know Marty was the One?
For about the first year or two that Marty and I dated, everything was nearly perfect. That whole "can't eat/can't sleep" cliche is oh-so-true when you're in love. I wanted to spend every single second of my free time with him and vice versa. I just hated when I wasn't with him. And when we were together, it was pure magic. I just knew that no one had ever made my heart flutter the way he did. There was no doubt in my mind that he was the right one for me.

What's one thing marriage has taught you?
Wow, just one? Communication is the first thing that comes to mind because it's such an important factor in a happy and successful marriage. Marty and I are both quiet-natured people. This makes it difficult in times of disagreement because both of us tend to close ourselves off from one another. I think too many people don't realize that marriage takes WORK from BOTH partners. Next to motherhood (I'm not a mother yet; this is just my opinion), marriage is probably the hardest job a person can have. Both parties must put in the effort to make it work. And one of those efforts you have to constantly perfect is communication.

Any advice for the engaged or newlyweds?
Have a marriage plan in place either before getting married or shortly thereafter. Sort out finances, the housework, all the responsibilities of each party. I think this makes it so much easier to know which spouse will be accountable for what early on in the marriage. Will the plan change? Sure it will. But coming to an agreement and setting your expectations now rather than later can save a lot of headaches in the long run.
Another tip I've found helpful is to read marriage advice (self-help) books. I tend to trust some of these more so than information I find on random websites. I read the books, highlight the parts I find most helpful or interesting, and I revisit them when I need a helping hand in my relationship. And if I find something really good, I'll even share it with my husband : o )

Read more about Tiffany & Marty's married life on Tiffany's blog, The Chocolate Knot.

Are you a happily married black woman and want to be featured? Contact me: jamienfleming [at] gmail [dot] com.

Take it from them...

Happy Saturday!

I recently decided to begin featuring some happily married black women on this blog. I have two reasons: 1) To show that yes, black women do find love and get married {surprise, surprise}; and 2) To have these women share a little of their experiences and advice.

First up is JeLisa S.:

Wedding anniversary date: September 14, 2008

How did you know Galen [the hubby] was the One?
The realization that Galen was the one hit me harder than anything in my entire life. Not in a bad way...just in a big one. Everything I thought I knew-- about myself, my plans, even love-- was forever changed in an instant. I sat in my dorm room talking to my friend, Galen, about our friendship and realized I was talking to my husband.

I don't know how I knew. Call it divine intervention, my heart being smarter than me. Maybe I'm psychic. Well, I can't be psychic since I thought from childhood I'd never, ever, ever get married or have kids. {I thought I didn't even like them}.

And now, I'm a very happily married preschool teacher who's planning her nursery. Turns out, the only thing I'd been right about was that Galen was "the marrying type"--I'd always told him that and that he'd one day make a really sweet husband to some lucky girl. How crazy it was when I realized that girl was me.

What's one thing marriage has taught you?
It has been the deepest, most revealing mirror ever held to my face. It has shown me who I truly am {the good and bad, the ugliness and the beauty}, what my habits are, what my needs are, what my strengths are, how I need to grow, what I need to change, what I need to cultivate.

Any advice for the engaged and newlyweds?
If you're engaged, I'd advise you not to get so caught up in planning your wedding that you forget to plan and prepare for your marriage.

If you're a newlywed and have just gotten married, I'd advise you to enjoy it! And you can't enjoy it by sweating the small stuff. Yes, he leaves his shoes by the doorway when he gets home-- but you can focus on how annoying that is or how awesome it is that he's home. The first year passes you by before you know it, and you two are only newlyweds once!

Get more of JeLisa and her marriage on her blog, ...And They Lived Blogging Ever After.

Are you a happily married black woman and want to be featured? Contact me: jamienfleming@gmail.com.